Kalni, I meant to reply to you earlier on in my thread, I did today. Remember how usually we don't follow our own advice to others... advice like this:
Originally Posted By: Kalni
Gno, you wife WAS probably all you decribed as "ideal". You were probably her ideal of a H. That's why you married, no? Dont forget that.
I haven't forgotten and don't you do that either.
I added the following to my reply in my thread:
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I'm glad that you and H have gone to MC. Your MC sounds great and seems to know what she is doing. Soften your heart a little sister. That your H is trying is very important. I know you are carrying a lot of hurt and resentment (and justifiably so) but please try let a little of it go. Remember the saying that it takes two to tango? Well... it kind of applies here too. The road has two directions and to meet both of you must be walking towards each other. If one is chasing the other the two of you will never meet halfway. Does that make sense?
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K, I'm in no position to offer an opinion on your sitch. You've been at this far longer than I. All I can say is, sometimes with all the reading we do... we forget the basics. When you have too much information in your head it is usually best to return to the basics.
One thing I can say that may help you understand your H... sometimes when my W was upset I had no clue what I could do to console her. I knew that she needed to be hugged and held, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. It sounds stupid... knowing what to do and actually doing it are two extremely difficult. It took me a while to be comfortable actually doing it.
