people keep saying that separation isn't necessarily D, but come on...i want to hold out hope, but i also don't want to lead myself on. how many people have come back from a formal separation and ended up staying together?
Me30 H29 M2.5 T5 H moved out 1/23/2010 H wants signed agreement 3/30/2010 ...feeling hopeless
by formal i mean my H is moving out, wants me to sign a separation agreement, and in our state (VA), couples who file "no fault" that do not have children only need to prove they have been living apart for 6 months before they can file for D.
Me30 H29 M2.5 T5 H moved out 1/23/2010 H wants signed agreement 3/30/2010 ...feeling hopeless
people keep saying that separation isn't necessarily D, but come on...i want to hold out hope, but i also don't want to lead myself on. how many people have come back from a formal separation and ended up staying together?
Me
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
i don't really feel like i have stable ground to stand on.
Then change the way you feel.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
When you married your wife. You made the choice to be with her. You can fight for it regardless of the situation or you can let it die and go one with your life. Look, i feel you. If i leave my house i dont feel i will be coming back but the reality is. If i want it bad enough living in a apartment away from my wife wont change the way i feel.
M:33 W:32 Married 10/28/07 C: B13 G10 (Both from different relationships) 12/30/09 Bomb Divorce Busted 2/04/10 5/15/12 Bomb 2
HI Try! Sorry you are here. I want to help you with something. My seperation has been wonderful for me. If H wants to go - let him go and focus on you. If things work out you will be the best you imaginable!! I've been free to deal with my issues - we all have them - and explore my feelings without his negativity. I hope H comes home and I miss him terrible, but this experience has been very liberating. I'll catch up on your sitch, but if thats the course he wants to take - embrace it and make it the best situation for you. Life gives you lemons - break out the tequila and throw yourself a party!
Hope this helps - I know its not what you want to hear. Hang in there!
Quick Hijack - Coach - stop by my thread in newcomers " I've hit a wall"... I'd like your feedback on my WAH...
ME28,WAH30, M 5YRS, T 7YRS ,OW/ILYBNILY/SEP 9/09 Served with D papers 6/6/10 Current
thanks talia...that is good advice. just this morning i was thinking, hmmm, well, with H out of the house i can FINALLY become a vegetarian and not have to buy meat with the groceries anymore. i guess i just never thought our marriage was all that bad. we have ups and downs like everyone, but to find out that he feels defeated because he just can't make me happy was kind of a surprise for me. we don't tend to say nasty things to one another, we don't fight very often over anything very major, we're just normal humans having normal problems. we entered back into MC after a few months of not needing to go back in November. We had to spend Christmas apart (due to us both having terminally ill grandparents, one in florida one in canada), and by the time New Year's rolled around, he was tired of trying to make things work. Coming to that decision so quickly seems rash to me...but i can't really do anything about it.
my boss just caught me crying at my desk and she said, why would you want to be married to someone who doesn't want to be married to you? i still haven't come up with a good answer for that...
Me30 H29 M2.5 T5 H moved out 1/23/2010 H wants signed agreement 3/30/2010 ...feeling hopeless
i guess i just never thought our marriage was all that bad. we have ups and downs like everyone, but to find out that he feels defeated because he just can't make me happy was kind of a surprise for me. we don't tend to say nasty things to one another, we don't fight very often over anything very major, we're just normal humans having normal problems. we entered back into MC after a few months of not needing to go back in November. We had to spend Christmas apart (due to us both having terminally ill grandparents, one in florida one in canada), and by the time New Year's rolled around, he was tired of trying to make things work. Coming to that decision so quickly seems rash to me...but i can't really do anything about it.