Rob, boundaries are personal. They are things that your W does that violate your personal integrity or values. No one can list the boundaries that you should have in place for your wife.
This is the link to the Boundaries thread. Sandi gave your the basic format.
The important thing you need to know is that a boundary has consequences if it is crossed. I.e. You have to be prepared to enforce your boundary because it will be crossed many times. So the key is to choose consequences that you are willing to enforce.
You're finally aware that the "nice guy" approach is getting you nowhere. What I suggest is that you list out all her behavior that is not acceptable to you and create a boundary for each of them. The consequences could be the same for each boundary, but not recommended.
e.g. If she loses her temper you can refuse to talk to her.
I hope this helps. The board is quiet over the weekends, so perhaps you will get more answers during this week.
