Ali, I dont blow up at him. I get quiet and sad often. 99,95% of these times, I dont tell him anything about it. Sometimes he asks me and I dont tell him just to avoide getting into heavy discussions.
Remember all the times your BF was holding you and reassuring you when you were getting upset and crying over the past? H can NOT, will NOT do that. Because it is hard for him. He says he cant handle any kind of emotion. But I have emotions about the past and his A. And the more he ignores/avoids me, the sadness turns to anger and resentment. This is something we need to handle together for about 50% and each of us on our own for the rest 50%. He wants me to do it on my own 100% and have nothing to do with me. But there are some things I can only get from him, reassurance, tenderness, etc etc. I want these things from my R anyway, not just from him now...
Anyway, MC gave us homework. To prepare a list of things that we want from each other on a daily basis, little positive, loving gestures. At first I said I didnt want to to do that because I have given him such list and he ignores it. She insisted in a weird -now that I think of it- way and I agreed. H agreed immediately that he wanted to do it... I am curious to see what he wants. Ohh he actually said one thing :peace.
H refuses to accept the impact his work schedule has on me. This weekend the kids were a handful with their homework, attitude etc. He started calm and then pretty soon he got very frustrated with them. At one point I told him calmly and peacefully "I hope you realise this is what I face everyday, it is not a weekend thing, but you dont know it, you are not aware of it, weekdays the kids for you are just a goodnight phonecall...". He nodded.
On another note, my dads test are not good this time. The last few weeks he has been looking very weak and although we continue to give him that drug, just as they had warned us, this trimester the results are not good. I am ready for my MLC now. K
