Bill & Boys-While my sitch has diff's it has alot of similarities. I've been with my wife for 33 years, and we are currently in episode #3 of her being the WAS. Lately it feels an awfully lot like #1 when she had a pa. (for all I know she could be having another and then I WOULD be done).
She goes dark, and then like Bills W will come over and have great sex, and then be in turmoil over it. Like Bill, it throws a fog over me. I think I'm done, and then feel hope, then feel...who knows what you feel after several of these?
I've begun to detach, and when she popped in yesterday (after a few weeks of detaching) she is acting detached (well yeah-she is the one that moved out w/o notice) anyway I am short on the convo, I did ask what was up with our R and she was very vauge, so I then encouraged her to leave and go get some sleep to which she asked if I was trying to get rid of her and if a GF was coming over?
Now I'm sure she knows that would not be in my plans while married, but then we ML that was pretty intense. ?????
So if we are supposed to do the same as the WAW, and create space and mystery and the unknown I have a couple of ?
Like many of you, it's easier if I don't have to deal with W on regular basis with her calling all the shots. Although all my kids are now adults and gone, we have one older son living with me who is suffereing from paranoia/skitso complex, and W takes almost zero responsiblity for him. I have debated relocating and am serious about it. If I followed my WAW example, I would take the next few weeks and get my ducks in a row, rent the house, and just pick up and move w/o telling her squat. Is that going to fit in with the DBing?
It takes away my ability to say no when she feels like getting a little (which I can't seem to do) It seems like it would help me focus on me and my life easier, as I wouldn't even be there to drive by her place to see if see's stuck in the snow or not, it just seems like it would be so much easier.
Maybe it's a form of running away, maybe it's just a coping mechanism? It may be the the thing that gets this R off dead center-one way or another. Like Bill was thinking-I'm wondering if I am just done (I sleep much better now too) or like Bill-I'd find out I really am not done at all, or at least maybe discover where I really want to be?
What are your thoughts? Not to hj thread, but seems many of us are at similar points in our R's.