So, today a few last minute emails and tweakings from Mediator on final draft. One thing she proposes is a minor wording change that she thinks will give me a slightly increased credit on something-or-other when the house is sold. I emailed her back, cc'ing stbxw:
"I appreciate your examining this in multiple ways to see which benefits me more. I'll go along with whichever you suggest because all - all - I want now is no further delays. I want to be out of this, done with it, and divorced from (Mrs.G) on Wednesday 1/27. Nofurtherdelays."
Enough. Fourteen months of Alien lies and vile, false accusations. E-friggin-nough!
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Sorry I did not have a chance to review your posts yesterday.
But I have now, and, well, you sound like me. I have accepted the D, but see it all as so unnecessary. But, I (and you) can only speak for me, not her.
I think you are making the right decision to keep moving on without her. And, I know that's still painful. It is to me as well.
I feel in many ways you are so far ahead of me. I'm sure I'll need some advice in the coming months. I didn't NOT expect to be where I am right now, but, like Sandi's example of viewing the corpse, it is really real now.
We are similar in that we both still love the old versions of our W's. But, they aren't that version any longer, and haven't been for a while. We just didn't see it yet.
And I think we would both put our M's back together if our W's wanted that AND were willing to do the work. I, like you, could not live with this current embodiment of my W. Too much pain, too much betrayal.
So, unless and until they are willing to do the work to (a) win us back and (b) improve themselves, we have but one option - to start living our lives...AGAIN. And we will.
Keep us posted. I agree the fall will come. Good luck my friend, I hope and pray you find happiness.
Thank you. I am finding happiness along with increased peace and optimism everyday (except for when the roller coaster takes another one of those nasty unexpected dives!)
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
I feel in many ways you are so far ahead of me. I'm sure I'll need some advice in the coming months.
Oh, I don't know about that. But regardless, you'll have my advice fwiw whenever you need it and I'll still be looking to you for the same.
Originally Posted By: givingitmyall
We are similar in that we both still love the old versions of our W's. But, they aren't that version any longer, and haven't been for a while. We just didn't see it yet.
Often, I think I refused to see it, avoided seeing it. Thanks.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
I am also considering a "goodbye" letter to my wife. Short and sweet but also proclaiming my doneness.
Might be good to put the final nail in the coffin. Mine, as you see, was kind of impromptu as opposed to planned. A reaction to her sudden reasonableness, owning her actions, and expressing remorse and regret totally out of the blue on the phone the other day. Peace,
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
I understand Gardener. Mine will also serve as a final offer of a lifevest before the ship goes down. I have no hope that it will "do" anything but I will feel better knowing that I did offer. Have a good new life Gardener!
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
Mine will also serve as a final offer of a lifevest before the ship goes down. I have no hope that it will "do" anything but I will feel better knowing that I did offer.
Do what you have to, just don't cross the line to pursuing at this point. Serenity13 advised me to do the same after stbxw's recent, honest almost-soul-bearing comments. I just can't at this point. Besides there's been no follow up action to those two conversations.
Originally Posted By: violin
Have a good new life Gardener!
Thanks, v1olin. May we all find the same.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
G Man... I will be thinking of you this week. You are in my prayers. ((hugs)) from Rocked
Thank you rocked. You are in my prayers, too. And, damn! What's your real name in the .alt again? I forgot again. You'll have to visit me and remind me.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
