Oh brother. I don't see how people can be patronizing this. I mean his W left him for lack of attention, etc. and it's easy to see why. He had OW.
Right now you're just like the rest of our WASs you don't want to do any work on yourself. That's cool, that's your perogative. But don't go on and throw act like you're so remorseful to us blah blah blah. We've heard it all before.
If you want to prove you're not BSing, get help for yourself. Your daughter deserves it to know her old man isn't a messed up individual.
But if you don't want to do the work and continue to play the role of victim, go ahead. Your D will be so proud when she grows up.
Stuck You are right. However this isn't an act. I can see why you think it is. But it isn't. I own what i did. I accept or am starting to accept that I had no control over my addiction.
I think you hit a nerve in me when you said i don't want to do any of the work on myself. That is not true. I do want to be a better person. I do want to be a better father. I want nothing more than that. I just find it hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel knowing what i am. The fear of failure even after you have bared your soul is quite terrifying.
Stuck, i am sorry if my presence here is grotesque to you. However that does not change the fact that i love my ex wife and that does not change the fact that i am more than remorseful for what i did.
I have started attending SAA meetings and have an appointment with an IC on tues.
I am jumping into this with everything that i have. I am jumping into this with no more secrets. That is why i have come to this forum to tell you all what i have done.
Please believe that i am not trying to BS you or anyone. I am writing my story. I am trying to take a moral inventory of what i have done. And just like you, and everyone in here, i want my wife back. If anything that is the one thing we share in common. Mistakes where made on my part. But i never stop loving her. I just did not love myself. I was a liar. I lead a double life. I destroyed her.
SO please forgive me, if I have come in here and upset you. I deserve your skepticism.
And you are right. My daughter deserves a better dad. I will take your advice and try to be better for myself, for her. If my ex sees that then great. But if she doesn't, i will have to deal with those consequences.
