Originally Posted By: Walking Are you falling in love with your friend-with-benefits Lover SSMGuy?
Not really.
Puleez...... Not really??? That's like being kind-of pregnant!!!!
It also demonstrates the tricky balance your circumstance sets you up to juggle. You need to care for your partner in order to have a relationship close enough to be intimate (because you're a good, kind man and you respect her and want to treat her well)- but you can't or shouldn't love her because that's reserved for the mother of your children.
Can you see what a bind this puts you in ? (despite protestations that the European style mistress can and does work in a lot of situations - noting it didn't work too well for the likes of Princess Diana or her children) ...
Quote:
Also depends on what you mean by love. You care about friends and you enjoy their company, but you don't typically feel a strong need to see them again if it's been only a few days. So, no I don't feel the kind of white hot love like I can't stand to be without a friend, and I wouldn't be jealous if they had sex with someone else.
I'm the last person to profess to know anything about LOVE. It's a confusing 4 letter word to me.
I do know however that once your older than 21 and have a grip of your emotions and decisions relating to your life it's very unlikely that you'll find the "white hot love ... can't stand to be without you ... " feeling that you have when you are young and first start a relationship.
Around here that is referred to as the "romantic love" stage and is to blame for most affairs (particularly by people who were married young, often to their first serious partner, have grown up, kids are almost off their hands and they meet someone who sets off those chemical and hormonal reactions ... and they leave their spouse to chase the thrill ... v mid-life-crisis). It's not necessarily a healthy thing.
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
