Sorry I did not have a chance to review your posts yesterday.
But I have now, and, well, you sound like me. I have accepted the D, but see it all as so unnecessary. But, I (and you) can only speak for me, not her.
I think you are making the right decision to keep moving on without her. And, I know that's still painful. It is to me as well.
I feel in many ways you are so far ahead of me. I'm sure I'll need some advice in the coming months. I didn't NOT expect to be where I am right now, but, like Sandi's example of viewing the corpse, it is really real now.
We are similar in that we both still love the old versions of our W's. But, they aren't that version any longer, and haven't been for a while. We just didn't see it yet.
And I think we would both put our M's back together if our W's wanted that AND were willing to do the work. I, like you, could not live with this current embodiment of my W. Too much pain, too much betrayal.
So, unless and until they are willing to do the work to (a) win us back and (b) improve themselves, we have but one option - to start living our lives...AGAIN. And we will.
