Question

[awest1217]

H isn't trying to get back together. He sends me random texts to keep his control, or at least that is how I feel. Let's see...

Saturday, I text H to see if he could help me set up an itunes account. I didn't want to ruin the computer because his was signed in and I figured if he missed me that much, maybe this would be a good ice breaker because I would just ask how to get the computer switched to my account and be done with it. I called...no answer...I text him saying that I only called to get help with the itunes, but I would just figure it out on my own, and all I get back is "do you want me to come home?" WHAT!!?!?!?! That has nothing to do with the fact that I was calling to ask for some help with the computer and you couldn't answer the phone...you really miss me? So I text back that I had already answered that last night. A little later I asked him what was going on...and you guessed it, NOTHING

Last night I was a little fed up, so I did a no no and snooped by getting on his AIM. I can read what OW types, but not what H says back. Something about how they were fighting. Then he asks her how her cat is doing because she has been sick. WHAT AGAIN! S was sick last weekend and H knew about it because I put on FB how I was thankful for my mom and sister who came to help, and he still has not even once in the few texts I have gotten asked about S, but he asks her about her cat? Then he got mad because she said she wouldn't hang out today. To that she says "but ily anyway" ily = i love you. UCK!

Today I was debating texting H about our meeting because big surprise nothing about a time to meet. I decided to text him and said I hoped he enjoyed his weekend. I asked if he had come up with any dates yet to meet. Then ended I am really not looking forward to this meeting, but it is necessary. I wanted him to know that I am not trying super excited about having a R talk, but with things in my life financially, it is time. Trying to ease everything. That was at 4 pm it is now 3.5 hours later and still NOTHING! I am thinking about sending him the agenda then giving him a time to meet. I just hate this noncontact or contact when OW is not there. I think things are starting to fizzle on her end a little, but who knows. Either way he still needs a ton of help. I also might contact the friend that I contacted before just to see if they met because with my MIL saying he won't return her calls either, he isn't talking to anyone and that could lead to bad things.

Right now I am kind of missing having someone here. I have a busy week and weekend coming up, but after Saturday at 1 pm, my extra curricular activities are done for this year so that is a load off, however I need to get through this first. Then the week after is a year anniversary of H and OW starting the lying to me. There is a youth conference for church that H and I always go to. Last year H said he had too much work to do (renewing his license and wanting to write a play for church). H said he didn't want to go. We were already having some big problems so I went with S. Come to find out OW was at the house Friday night to eat Chinese, and Saturday to help H pick out glasses. He didn't tell me any of this until months later, although I knew something was up.

I need to somehow get through to H that we need to have this meeting, and the sad thing is that it will either happen with or without lawyers, but the problem I have with bringing in lawyers is I don't want a D. I want us to work out, and now I think H has fallen into a situational depression so I know he needs help, but at the same time he is a compulsive liar and master manipulator so I am trying to not get too much heart into this because it will be broken again and I can't do that. I will just keep trying to get H to meet. I told him Friday I wanted to meet by the end of the month which is a week from today so who knows. Just a lot of nothing.

I know it sounds bad, but really I am doing well. I think it is mostly not looking forward this week. Things are looking up and I am doing well emotionally, spiritually, physically (stomach still trying to fend off the sickness, but doing ok), and financially ok for now.