There's a lot of division on 'snooping' here, my personal opinion is that it is best if you know what you are dealing with, and it did make me feel like a real pr*ck invading W's privacy like I did. But I'm not sorry I did it.
Your DBing will likely be less effective while there is a A going on, so it's just something to factor in when you are evaluating your efforts.
I'm in 2 minds as to whether I should expose the A, but OM is divorced and so I don't think it would have any shock value of W. You may be different.
I console myself by knowing that I'm the one who is being strong and wants to keep my family together, and in our Home to boot.
Take care.
H: 44 W: 42 Married: 23 years Bomb: 16/07/2009 PA Confirmed: 16/01/2010 Over it & working on ME: Feb'ish 2010