I just reread your two posts to hfh32 from Friday evening sharing your own sitch. And while you've posted - and I've read - many similar posts of yours in the past, I have to say that you are one brave, self-revealing, sharing, giving person.
Especially since you no longer need to be on these boards and come here, like a few others, simply to help, to give of yourself. to make a difference.
Thank you and God bless you for that.
A quick observation from one Gardener who greatly admires you.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac