Wife wants best of both worlds

[mishka422]

I'm convinced that FOO issues are a root cause of a lot of the collapse of M. We emulate what we learned as children. For example, how do you learn to shop for groceries? Do you just one day go to the store with magical knowledge of what to buy, how much buy, if you are getting hosed on a price, etc.? No, you learn by going to the store with your parents and seeing what they buy and how they organize. The same thing goes for M.

I had the same issue as you dwinter. My parents had a very happy M, right up until the day my dad died. Unfortunately he was only 46 when he passed away, but he and my mom and a loving, supportive, happy M. My xh on the other hand is a product of a verbally and physically abusive father and a beaten-down mother who couldn't protect herself or her children. He is completely non-confrontational and will run away at the first sign of disagreement. Without IC he will never be able to have a healthy R. He has zero communication skills also.

Did your W communicate her unhappiness in the direction your R was taking? How did she react to anger or simple disagreement?