Are regrets when you end a separation normal?

[trytryagain]

although i'm now facing separation for the second time in less than 2 years, this time it's my H who doesn't want to reconcile. we separated for about a month in september of 2008 and he is the one who was desperate to reconcile, which i agreed with after several weeks (and a trip to italy!) of thought.

it was like getting to know a stranger again after the hurt i'd been through. i recoiled when he touched me. i was almost repelled by the sweet things he said and did. but i remained committed to working things out (we had only been married for 9 months at the time), and after a few weeks was able to be intimate and return his affections.

hesitation doesn't mean you made the wrong choice. it just means that you are a human being and you can't switch gears as quickly as your spouse may hope. if you're still feeling the same way in a few weeks or months, that's different. but when you separate, you spend so much time mentally distancing yourself and preparing for the worst that it's hard to make the transition once you try to reconcile.

best of luck, though. what i wouldn't give now for my H to want to give us another try!