Forward's new thread

[forward]

Snodderly, I have been doing that for nearly three years now and sitting at home alone was very pleasant at first, and still is to a degree, as I have enjoyed reading, movies, and the like, but it is starting to get old.

So I guess I am asking myself what I am looking for at this time.

X's looks at me in the last C session did reveal some interest but then I started to think the following:

The only way I would even CONSIDER letting him back into my life is if he has made a demonstrated effort to get control of his and shows that he is interested in ME, not the trappings of our old lifestyle.

Otherwise I am just his plan B and I know I deserve better than to be plan B.

I think he is looking at me as plan B at the moment, as he didn't look happy. I think if he did demonstrate interest, it would be because the blush is off the rose and gosh life w/Forward was a lot EASIER.

I would not accept that. I want to be cared about for who I am.

And the other thing is, X is not on the same ground as a completely new person would be. X has demonstrated lack of interest/lack of capacity to handle change. So X would have a lot more to do to impress me.

I think this reflects some good things in terms of my personal growth, actually.....