Trying to move on

[mishka422]

Your W never had a good example of a happy M and saw the constant misery between her parents. She started to feel unfulfilled and,consequently, unhappy. So she decided she wasn't going to live like her parents did and....BOMBS AWAY.

I know, I'm mind reading, but it's a fairly good job of it considering her background.

You had the early trauma of your parent's D, which led to strained R's for you and your sister with them. It all makes sense with the FOO issues, it doesn't mean that those things are the cause of what is happening. You know that you both contributed to this, but how you handle it now is what counts. IMO, you are handling this quite well with your girls.

Show them how a man respects women, gives with his heart while still maintaining his masculinity, and loves with abandon. All of that will help your girls deal with their new lives.

Again, you have no control over how your W decides to paint her picture of you and your M to the girls, but you can counteract that by speaking truth in a manner that is not threatening to their opinion of their mother. They love you both and the respect they feel for both of you must be maintained.

Trust me, I've said some pretty hurtful things about Gabe within Marc's hearing and regretted it immediately. I have also turned directly to Marc and told him that I am sorry for saying what I did and that is just my hurt speaking. There are also times I have had to sit him down and talk to him about the truth because of a distorted picture his dad has painted of current situations. He doesn't try rewriting history with Marc because Marc saw the true R until he was 13. He's not stupid. Your girls are younger and more impressionable. Their history can be changed through words. Keep yours honest and open and you will be golden!