A Choice

[patpat]

I think detaching is just what it sounds like... letting go.

Letting go of everything and moving on. Not trying or even thinking about it, which I know is almost impossible. But realizing that we have no control over what our spouses are doing and have choosen to do...

By detaching, we are telling ourselves that we no longer have the desire to feel the pain we have been feeling for so long. It does not mean that we do not love our spouses... moreso, that we love ourselves enough to not let them continue to have control over us.

IMO, the outcome of the M will be whatever it will be. We can try to save it, we do all the things we can think of to do just that, but at some point, we HAVE to think of ourselves. What is good for you hhh, what can you or have you done for yourself... our spouses believe that they are doing for themselves what they need to do for their happiness (though we do not agree). What about you?

Gal'ing is awesome. You are doing this...continue to do so. This is where you find yourself, and if kept up will provide an escape from the thoughts of the M ending.

I agree that when things get closer to the end that it put our sitches front and center, and it is difficult... but hopefully somewhere along the way you can and have realized that you are better than that.... that you have worth and valve. That you do have a life and will be fine.

I found these things. I like them and I like myself. I have been a good H, provided for my F and did not see, nor deserve what has punch me right in the face. It floored me.

It hurt. It hurt like nothing I have ever experienced in my life. All of us here have felt the same pain. Mine is no different then yours and I feel for you. I wish I could be strong for you and feed you the magical words that will make this better for you, but I can not.

All I can say is.... keep Gal'ing. Know that life has something better out there for you and I both.

I will go to your sitch and read up... I do not know how to answer you at the moment... I am not that far along yet (no papers) but I will keep in touch....

Good luck hhh, you are in my prayers...