Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[Gnosis]

Hey SD, it's good to hear you're doing well! No 2x4's from me!

Positive Notes:

I am doing very well,

• GAL
• Detached
• LIVING

Keep working on these and don't forget to do them.

I said last week that I was done, and I still feel that way.

I remember some of the controversy this caused. I didn't have a chance to comment then, but I support your decision and your reasoning. You have decided that this is what is BEST FOR YOU. What people can do is offer an alternative viewpoint so you can reach an informed decision -- then from there we have to respect it.

The angst, the dread, the constant pulling me back into the sitch, are gone. I don't LIVE for contact with her.

Co-dependent no more. One of the most important lessons that every LBS can learn is that our world is NOT defined by our WAS. We define our world and WE choose who can and can't live in it - as well as - who is allowed to influence us.

One of the great things that happened to me through this process is that I am now a WAS.

In your situation this is the BEST thing you could have done.

Steps to success:

• I dropped the rope
• began living.
• I KNOW now that I will survive this painful process,
• and as a matter of fact, I will THRIVE through it.

Take these words and write them down on a small card. Put that card in your wallet and commit them to heart.

I have come to the conclusion that the most successful way to get through this process is to become a WAS. Turn it right back around. BECOME a WAS. No matter what it takes. No matter how much it hurts. No matter how strange it feels. No matter how much your instincts tell you to keep begging, pleading, crying, sniveling, belly aching - IT DOESN'T WORK!

Become what your WAS is. Not mean, or nasty, or spiteful. Rather, what you should exude is this: YOU ARE JUST FINE WITH THEIR DECISION. Fine, no problem, GO, I'm gonna be just fine without you. And then DO IT. Lovingly DETACH.

It's easy to say it. It's easy to write it here on these boards. But for your own self-preservation, your own self-worth, your own dignity, you MUST DO IT.

As the tenets of DB say... DO WHAT WORKS.

THIS Soldier chooses to LIVE!!!

And that is the best thing that can come out of this. On that note, some words of caution:

• Keep rebuilding yourself. This is why I told you before that you are in an ideal situation at the moment via forced distance. Make the best use of the time given you and keep working on yourself.
• Take time to recover. You've been wounded and in a field-hospital. You're healing your broken spirit and rebuilding your self-esteem.
• Remember your purpose.

Keep up the great PMA. Make it a permanent part of your mindset. When you get back home you're going to need all the strength you've got. You will be thrown back into the thick of things. Remember your lifelines and use the tools you have been given.