Wife wants best of both worlds

[ClingingToHope]

Mishka, parent stuff has a lot to do with this, I believe. Before we got married, I lived with her at her parents house for about 10 months to save money for the wedding.

They had a God awful marriage. He was a retired police officer who always went out drinking before he got home. As soon as he got home W's mom would just light into him. He'd sit there watching TV until he couldn't take it anymore and then he'd go out drinking again.

In my entire time there I never saw them actually enjoy each other's company until the wedding.

Now that W's dad is gone -- lung cancer -- he's become a saint. But W once said they would have divorced years ago if they had the money.

So W grew up wondering why people who are miserable stay together.

In my case, my parents D when I was 12. They'd split up twice. Once for an entire summer. My mom then went through two more husbands and two long-term serious boyfriends in 17 years before she died when I was 29.

We were lucky in that we moved in with my grandmother who had a very nice house and a pool so our living style didn't change all that much. Still, I grew up wondering why my parents couldn't keep it together.