i thought was suppose to be unapproachable and not needy?!
Stop and think about this for a little bit. Better yet go back and give your DB or DR books another look.
There is a balance to all of this. There is a way to be strong, confident and content and not appear to be needy. It's not done by being cold, stand offish or unapproachable.
You are either on one side or the other here. I see flashes of the AYK that handles this well. You seem calm, confident, and sure of yourself around her in a nice way.
Then I also see at times where you become cold, short and unapproachable. That's not going to draw her any closer and that's probably not how you want to come across either.
You have to find a balance, a way of being calm, confident and pleasantly distant and maybe a little mysterious without appearing to be cold. There is no need to have this edge about you.
That tells me that you still haven't completely let her go. Remeber as well that forgiveness is a process and it's something you have to work hard at almost daily.
Every time you are cold or short with her it sends the message loud and clear that YOU aren't ready to forgive. It's not a sign of strength .
The balance is there and yes it's difficult to find at times. It gets easier when you come to the realization that this has to be about you. Who do you want t to be? A calm, confident, pleasantly strong person or cold, unforgiving and inconsistent
Your wife can read you like a book, she can tell if you have a negative edge about you. MLC'ers are pros at sensing your emotions, she can see them with ease.
Find your balance my friend, think about who you want to be for you and nothing more. Acting a certain way to effect her is not the way to go about this.
This has to be one of the best posts I have seen in a very long time!... explains the DB way with out corning the LBS. If this was only a sticky......
