here we go again

[bluerain]

Hi Jstar, Exciting, exciting!!! Scary too, but you know everything will be ok. Im sure if it! I think that it would be good for you to not test him by seeing his reaction etc, really it just ends up hurting you and causing you stress doesnt it? Stop engaging him and go dark, you need less stress right now and I think that this is a good way for you to do it.

Your right, you have reached out and told him what you need/want, for some reason, I guess because you havent said what he wants to hear, he is ignoring that. I think that maybe in this case you need to keep on track for what you have been talking about. Going ahead with filing. I would only suggest that you wait to do it until your life has settled down a little. Maybe it will be a wake up call for him, maybe not, but I am not going to sit here and tell you that you need to be patient and let go and let god and all of that. At some point, action needs to be taken, and I dont think that he will respect anything short of legal action from you. Your boundaries have violated everytime you have put them down.

I think that being calm and supportive of your H (as a parent- do you think that it is ok to "support" bad behavior?) is a little different in that case, its awesome to be supportive of his efforts to see his child- if he respects the schedule and boundaries. Of course its best for the child to see his father, but like you have said in your case, the inconsistency is not good. But I think that you have to be careful to not let him have his raunchy sex fantasy with OW and then come home and get to be Mr. Champion Dad/Family Man too. She seems to be doing fine with the way that she is handling things, but each of these sitchs is soooo different, so you cant automatically assume that something that is working in someone elses sitch should work in yours.