I don't think there' much more I can add to this, especially after Virginia's comments. I will say this, though: I'm a DB nube, but it seems that you're not taking any positive action to influence his behavior. If you are really that attached to him, then you must do the work, right?
The main reason I visited this thread was the title, 'porn addiction,' because my compulsion to watch porn did major damage to my marriage. I truly sympathize with silverado, for having suffered through that.
So far, I've had no way to demonstrate to my wife that I haven't viewed porn since June, 2009, and she won't spend the time to accept an apology for my behavior. So, to all the women on this forum who have suffered from this, I'd like to offer what I wish I could tell her:
'I've realized that porn is not innocuous, harmless, or victimless. I've seen how it demeans women and I have faced and how it makes you feel.
Ultimately, I never experienced anything more beautiful than the tenderness between us, and the expression of that tenderness. Pornography robbed us of that beauty, and, in your eyes, made the ways I loved you seem empty. Why did I let myself be so blind to this, for so long?
For these reasons, I have given up pornography - whether or not it matters to you anymore. FWIW, I am truly sorry. You were always my true fantasy, as well as my true love.'
