However under both of the techniques recommended...such behavior is recommended against...am I reading that correctly?
Did you read that in the DR book before this last scene with your SO.....or afterwards? B/c if you had that advice from the expert (MWD) and yet you chose to act like you did and you are scared spineless even now.....then why are you asking? Are you saying that you aren't sure you understand the technique or concept?
From your post of the last time you were with SO, it sounds to me that you tried to do "exactly" everything that the book uses for examples of not doing. Even getting the pictures down and trying to lay a guilt trip on her. I was beginning to think you were pulling our legs by that time.
I am just trying to understand if you knew that the book said not to do what you did......are you ready to really do what doesn't make sense to you....or do you want to tell us what ought to work?
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Sandi...I dont know what to say except the sudden jolt of finding out about the OP made me lose all composure and self control. While I did read the book before my encounter with my SO today (and read the LRT & Infidelity parts again just now) and knew/still know what I "should" have done, and what I "shouldnt" have done, it was like I was watching a movie. I could see what was happening/being said but couldnt control the events.
It bothers me that I didnt have more self control, but I'm not expecting that to happen again given that there are really few surprises left in this situation.
I also know I cant do anything about what happened today other than to pick myself up and get back to doing the LRT, and as I said in my post above, when that doesnt appear to be working I'll move into the ALRT.
