She's clearly confused, and I agree with Esox about what he says too.
What I believe is that you shouldn't try to work on an R or M with her as long as OM is still in the picture. If she was truly wanting to reconcile with you, she would be willing to give up OM, go into counseling, etc. If she was willing to do that, you would be willing to put more trust in her and some of the problems she is complaining about you wouldn't be an issue.
I think until she truly wants reconciliation and is willing to show that by her actions, then you need to detach, DB, and not even try to work on a R with her. I think you should go dark as much as possible as well. GAL, spend time with your kids, etc. Focus on you and your kids. Go back to classic DB as much as you can. Don't fight her filing for D. Let her have consequences. Detach, detach, detach....