Onwards and upwards!

[P17]

Thanks guys. I appreciate your messages.

Unfortunately, I'm now officially done. Over and out.

I have finally given up on M, R or anything else. I'm finished.

I heard tonight, from D's mum, that W had put on her FB page that she is 'in the process of a divorce'. Not on this planet honey. Only I can file. You're about 18 months from being able to legally do that. If your solicitor thinks he can work that one out I'd be very interested. However, you need to bear in mind that hell will have to freeze over at least twice before I consider doing it. You want a D, you do the legwork sweetheart ... oh and you can pay for it too.

I did what I said I would do with D, I asked her if she would speak to W. She said yes. I dialled the number, D said she left a message as it was voicemail 'Hi W, I really miss you. Bye' is what she said she said.

Ten minutes later, W phoned back. I ignored it. She left a voicemail just saying she was in the toilet, missed the call. I didn't call back.

I did what I said I would do - I asked D to call her, she did. If W isn't there, not my problem.

I go dark again. I am gone. Not that she gives the smallest of cares, but for me contact is gone again. I shouldn't hear from her again for some time. I will heal again.

Spoke to the garage owner at the end of the street. He is a really good guy and one of those guys you just listen to - been around the block and says a little but actually says A LOT, IYSWIM. I see a good mechanic like a good dentist, when you find one hang onto him and for goodness sake don't p*ss him off. He says he sees W coming unstuck. I agree with him. Not for some time though. The EN's are still being fulfilled.

OM also STILL owes him money - okay it's about £20, but that's not quite the point. I actually see a lot in a person's character when they get work done and never pay for it ... hey ho, it made me smile. W will NOt know that OM owes the garage owner money. If she did she'd pay it. She knows the garage owner well and we never mucked him about so OM has either forgotten or lied (as garage owner suspects) to W.

I told him my plans so he'll tell his W who will tell my W ... oh the web's we weave ... news below. He did say he'd also ask his W to see if my W has a new car (as I suspect). He also said if OM brings his car back he won't get it back until he pays all his bills

I was away on Thursday / Friday this week. I went to where I used to live and down to see my dad. I went to my old flat where I used to live. It actually brought back a LOT of memories. It was the first place that me and W ever spent the night together. It was where D spent her first nights with me. It had a lot of nice memories. I drove away with a smile on my face. That smile didn't go for a few hours.

My conclusion ... I need to go. Away from here. Somewhere else.

So, I will be moving around 100 miles away to the next city. I WILL be leaving here sometime soon. Hopefully within the next month, but maybe a bit longer if I can't get a flat. I just need to get away. forget about W. Forget about my life that was and start a new one. I need to heal completely. I need so start again.

W still wants a D. I had my doubts to be honest with not giving me the separation agreement, but she clearly still wants to continue the course and divorce. Good luck to her. Me, I don't care anymore. I will protect me and D. Nothing more.

I think we have the greatest power when we don't care. I have to be honest and say I still care for her and the M - that will take more time to get over. What I don't care about is this house and the money. I have a feeling she thinks that is all I care about which is what the separation agreement is actually about - finances. She will get a bit of a shock when she finds out it's on the market to be sold. I care nothing for it.

I am done. I am finished. I give up. Somebody shoot me