Wife wants best of both worlds

[ClingingToHope]

It's a fine line between being open and honest and trying to "win" the blame game.

I don't know if that's the best way to put it.

W cares passionately about what the girls think about her. She almost never talks about what's going on between us. She thinks that should just be between us -- it's one of the things she doesn't like about me.

And when she does talk, she tells the girls that I need to be free to find someone more suited for me. The fact that I want to do anything possible to hold our family together doesn't come up.

I tell the girls that a lot of what mommy says is true and whenever something comes up that I did wrong I tell them. I guess it's because I want them to know how they should be treated when they get older since they won't be able to see it with their parents.

But I also tell them I will ALWAYS love their mother and still believes she loves me.

My worry is as they get older W will change her tune towards me with the girls as they get more independent and make their own decisions and ask more questions.

My mom never had a nice thing to say about my dad and totally ruined the relationship between my sister and my dad. With me, I was so close to my dad that my mom -- I see now -- was always trying to compete.

Everything just gets so much more complicated.