I can only offer my insights to you from my sitch in comparison, fwiw..
I have thought a lot about this in my sitch, who the current stbx iwitw is, and why would I ever want that back? Or even the previous Mrs. IWITW, as that didn't work either..
So, Stbx Ms G should have to fight hard for the current Mr G. Would you want her back in present WAS form? I don't think so. Nor would you really want back the old Mrs. G either, because that didn't work either.
It may be incorrect to think about it this way, but I have recently formed the opinion, or view, that there are 3 "people" in a MR, or any healthy committed R now. Two stable and strong individuals, and the 3rd party is the MR itself, which requires nurturing and work from both of the individuals.
It helps me to think about the three as separate, as you can see that if only 1 works on the R, it can't last and will wither away. Although there will be times when 1 or the other puts more effort into the R to keep it alive, and that should ebb and flow..
Keeping you in my thoughts, stay strong and focused on what G-man wants right now..
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
