Moving on with my life!

[Startingover2]

I just tried to modify with my bank and after 6 months, providing them with everything but my last born child, and waiting...they said no. I guess the attys push these people.

Did you stop making your payments too? That really doesn't sit well with me.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

oh, didn't realize you already tried. no, I chose not to because the thought is that with my monavie business growing, and James' new career, by midyear we should be doing really well, so if I can just make it to tax season, I figured we'd be okay.

will the atty only charge you if it works?? I wouldn't do it, unless they only charge if it goes thru, cause what if it doesn't? then your up a creek.

[Startingover2]

will the atty only charge you if it works?? I wouldn't do it, unless they only charge if it goes thru, cause what if it doesn't? then your up a creek.

No they charge upfront after doing a profile to see if you would be eligible or not. If they don't succeed then you get half of the money back. My mortgage broker said there are scam guys out there but also good ones so make sure to get references. If I could get my loan modified then I would be sitting in a much better place. Just not sure on not making the payments for 2 or 3 months.

Exh came this morning. I was busy cleaning. Its not raining finally today so I just wanted to put my house back together. Exh was cheery and friendly...offered to bring baby and I breakfast. I declined. He stayed another 30 minutes and left.

When he was here he had me take a pic of him and baby. I did. I didn't realize that right behind them was pics of my kids and you can totally see them. About 3 hours later he sends me the pic. WTF do I want that for? I didn't respond and deleted the pic. I honestly envisioned him sending it out to 10 other women at the same time with all of them telling him what a great dad he is. Not going to hear that from me!

[25yearsmlc]

yes, and you don't need an atty and you don't need to pay 3K.


it may be different in diff states, but I called on it myself. I just talked to the bank and they said that I would only qualify if I were in default. ya, scared me too, I've NEVER been late.

so, don't go thru an atty, call your bank and ask them what you would need to do, and keep talking to diff people until you find someone that knows what to do, or knows something about it.

SCAM ALERT...OMG don't pay ANYONE TO MODIFY YOUR MORTGAGE FOR YOU...they tried that with me and my h and we did NOT qualify but the guy was so pushy I wondered. I read up on it (I am a L) and knew we did not. So the salesguy (calls himself a "loan modification officer" blah blah blah) still pushed and I said "we don't legally qualify per the law" and he said "who told you that?" and I said "I read it with my eyes" and he said "well I can assure you that our attorneys will find a way for you to qualfiy for ONE TIME FEE of $3k," etc and the thing is, under the law, NO FEES are allowed! If there's a point to be paid on the LOAN, that's different and it's paid to the bank, not some company that reads a gov program for you and says "Yes or No"...I mean this is black and white. You are in or you are out as far as what Congress passed. Example, NO home with over $729k value qualifies. Just does NOT. The sales guy argued this with me and I had the print out of the program HE was referring to, but he did NOT know, in front of me...He wanted his commission and lied to my face (phone wise) to get it. No thanks. When I finally said, "hey I SEE this in front of me & I am a L and I think you guys are frauds," then he backed off.

Look --if your friend used someone to get her loan reducted, all I'm saying is she could have done it without forking over $3k for something that isn't hard to "negotiate" b/c you either qualify or you don't...and as for NOT paying your mortgage...nice touch. ST...What the heck is your goal here? Few people qualify for the principal reduction (& there are moral objections for many too) but if it's simply delaying foreclosure--do you have NO money? Seems you want to refinance. Are you working or not?

Hey if you know you are willing to lose the house you can probably delay the foreclosure --there are ways to do that---several months worth--but if there is a chance you want to keep it, OR that you care about your credit, PAY THE MORTGAGE...not paying it hurts the heck out of your credit. That damage will increase the interest rates on later loans and that costs you money for a long time, and why shouldn't it? I mean if the rest of us DO pay on time, and you don't, why wouldn't a credit rater or bank, lower your credit rating?

Not trying to be harsh but I know a bit about this and am amazed at the scam people AND the fact that they have NO SHAME....pushy too. If you qualified for welfare, would you pay someone to get the check for you? Same goes for unemployment...see my point?

What is your goal? IF you want to refinance, do it! The recent laws will help you with THAT...don't fork over money to someone to fill out paperwork you can do yourself. It's not rocket science.

Lots of good info on the internet --But use the official gov sites NOT something "like a gov site"....

Good luck, no time to post more but I HAD to reply to this...such a bad time to get taken advantage of so don't let it happen. Keep your good head on your shoulders and your wits about you.
j-

[Startingover2]

Yeah I figured it didn't sound good. I wish.

I don't know if its the lack of sleep I get, the boredome, the lack of money, the lonliness or what but I woke up very down this morning. I am up early like I always am to work on my online course in hopes that I will someday finish this and start making some money. I still have a long way to go and sadly the only time I can work on it is getting up early and putting in a few hours before baby wakes up. My mom was asking me how much more I have left to go and I told her quite a bit. She got sorta pissy and said 'well you better hurry up. I can't help you much more than I am and things are changing soon." WTF am I supposed to do? I can only do it when baby is sleeping. Nobody in my family wants to help, but they sure complain!

I am really down this morning. I feel like I am spinning my wheels and doing this all alone. I hate it. I have no social life and things cost money. I don't have money for a sitter and my other kids are hardly around. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow and I have to take her as my free sitters are busy. I am also in one of those I hate being alone things. This whole situation is so unfair. I hate exh so much right now. I hate him for being such a horrible man and still is. I hate him for using me fromt he beginning and threw his family away like trash and now while I have gotten maybe 2 hours of sleep last night I am up in the middle of the night to work on this course while he is probably home fu**ing his MGF! I hate that he did this to me. I hate that I am going to have to fight to keep baby safe and its going to be challenging and stressful and may not work.

I don't mean to rant this morning. I just woke up overwhelmed and exhausted today.

[antlers]

It's OK Startingover2...rant away!

I'm sorry you're having to deal with what you are.

[Startingover2]

It's OK Startingover2...rant away!

I'm sorry you're having to deal with what you are.

Thanks Antlers! Feels like I go and go and go...and I hit a wall. Living on 2 or 3 hours of sleep sucks and probably doesn't make it much better. Baby wakes alot, but even between her waking I still don't sleep well.

I also wish exh would disappear off the planet. I know he is her dad, but he sucks as a dad almost as much as he sucked at a husband. I have a hard time encouraging their relationship. I feel like if I build him up as a dad and coddle him just like everyone else does its just enabling his stupid behavior. He chose this life and still chooses everyone but his family. If he would go away I would probably be more relaxed. You never know what is around the next corner with him.

[kassie]

Hey lady!

Sorry for all the drama. You are growing though and for that i give you be applause! You are in a rough sitch.

As for the mortgage stuff - can you either go to another bank or qualify for an equity loan or line- I have equity in my house and earlier this year used to refinance and cut my mortagage in half. It helps a lot since being alone. D19 comes and goes with college and while her father paid CS for her brother through college he refuses to do the same with his daughter don't understand but tired of arguing.

I heard many people are not qualifying for much of any help but I would keep trying. For me the best part of my sitch is that I now have a nest egg to fall on if needed. Years ago when I wanted to buy my home from my exh I had to just keep trying until a bank agreed. It actually took my previous band to be bought up by another before it was accomplished but see how things work. Another thing that happened to me is that some banks actually made mistakes when processing. In the end, I got a good deal and what I needed. It took perseverance. I would also check into whether you could benefit from moving and buying another place better than trying to deal with this sitch. Just a suggestion.

Sorry you are having a down day - I also woke up depressed and didn't sleep much last night. Nice to know there are people to talk to.

[kassie]

Just a brief highjack - could I borrow Volleydog for my thread? I could really use some support and straight info.

[Startingover2]

Thanks Kass and GM...Sundays depress me too. I just went to church and for some reason I noticed every little intact family. Some days it bothers me and some it doesnt.

I asked my kids to 'unfriend' exh on FB..My d18 told me his new status is "In a relationship with MGF!" and people are congratulating him and MGF made comments about how happy they are etc. Makes me sick. I hope my kids unfriend him. He is such a joke.

Almost lunchtime and baby and I are going to take a well needed nap!