It also comes down to personal responsibility. The LBS at first takes all the blame and all the criticism that the WAS heaps on them and takes it as gospel. We then wade through all the BS and find out what really was our fault and what wasn't.
The WAS continues to live their life of denial that they are the innocent "victims". Without changing anything in their lives they end up repeating the same mistakes with their new R.
It's not until the WAS realizes that they are also at fault do they truly show remorse for any and all the pain that they've caused.
It's amazing to see how many M on here that have R have that lightbulb moment on the part of the WAS, where they stop and realize that "hey, I'm the one whose messed up here!" And then they end up being totally remorseful.
Sadly not all of them get to that point.
Step-by-step dead on, stuck.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
