Praying for Light at the end of the Tunnel

[addie]

Hi KJ,

In many ways your sitch reminds me a lot of mine. If H and I were to D, I think I would have to pay him spousal support. Right now, H is back in school full-time and not earning much. I have always had the stable job and have earned a lot more than he has and just like you, most of what we have came from my earnings.

After H's PA ended and before we R, H placed ads in the personals and joined a dating site. Mind you, he did this while he was telling me he wanted us to get back together (we were living hundreds of miles apart at the time) but I was reluctant because I was afraid he was still in his fog, which he obviously was. This was just a band-aid to make him feel better and he quickly discovered he was still miserable.

Your H is set on his self-destructive path. There's nothing you can really do about it. If you stay out of his way, he will come to realize he can only blame himself for the choices he has made.