yes, i have taken ownership of those things. i have finally been able to see our relationship through his eyes and have discovered that i've done a lot of things wrong - that i wasn't even aware that i was doing. and of course, never with the intention to hurt him...i just thought i was trying to make our marriage better. little did i know...i was actually make it worse!
the goals are a bit more difficult. i desparately want him to stop talking about moving out. it seems so final to me. but today when he mentioned it, i smiled, asked him what neighborhoods he was looking at, and said i needed to look for a place of my own as well. i know he feels guilty and that the blame of us splitting will ultimately fall on him because he doesn't want to work things out (he feels that way, not me), but still he moves forward.
his sister is a lawyer and he has asked her to formalize a separation agreement based on some conversations we've had about division of property (we don't have much).
i do see in the mirror what he sees when he looks at me. i know what i have done and the part i have played. i am working to change those things, talking to a coach, reading, taking time for myself, finding things that make me happy...only problem is that not too much makes me happy for very long because the thought of not being with him lurks behind every happy thought in my mind.
Me30 H29 M2.5 T5 H moved out 1/23/2010 H wants signed agreement 3/30/2010 ...feeling hopeless
