H suddenly moved out 10 days ago...I'm devastated

[flowmom]

I don't think that H can support 2 households, so this is not a sustainable situation.

So if you stay on the present course and do nothing. What is going to happen?

I'm not doing nothing.

Short-term plan:

1. I've resumed my consulting work in order to increase our family earnings for debt repayment and increased housing costs (my business was on hold for a couple of years due to the children's needs)

2. maintain goodwill in my relationship with H so that he continues to support me financially and act in good faith

3. I'm considering suggesting that we re-mortgage our apartment to deal with the debt situation... I asked for input in this thread, but didn't get much feedback

4. stick to my agreement with H that we will curtail excess spending

Although lawyers could help me get the best deal financially, the reality is that H is unlikely to be able to increase his earnings and lawyers will just cut into whatever assets we do have. Mediation is a much cheaper alternative, but I would have to have a lot more emotional clarity and information before entering legally binding agreements with no legal representation.