Wife wants best of both worlds

[MHL]

My D13 and I talked a little last night and I know she is in pain over the loss of her family, the loss of being normal, the loss of having a mother. In many ways the children experience the same feelings of loss as the LBS. My D13 more so b/c she knows everything and does blame my W completely.

S9 is asking more questions about the why's and what happened and I started by asking him what his Mom says about it. He responded that she "gets upset" or changes the subject. I explained things as best I could by using examples he would understand but never talked about my W's infidelity.

I did maintain that it is Mom's decision to stay away and does not desire to "try to work things out". He asked me why and I responded, "I don't know", you should ask your Mom. Which he did and she told him that she was "confused" right now. Probably the closest thing to the truth she has said in 6 months.

CTH and DW,
My point here is this; Our roles as fathers and how we are viewed as fathers by our children in the future, will be determined by how we handle things now. While the whole truth is not appropriate especially in the case of young children, I don't think we should sheild our spouse's decision to bail when things get tough. This will be an important life lesson for them later on no matter how our sitches turn out. I want to be the parent that chose the path less traveled, and I want them to remember accurately who made the choice to leave. Our spouses will attempt to rewrite history 5-10 years from now and if our spouses are still messed up, they could end up guiding our children down the wrong path later in life.