H is apartment hunting today

[Gardener]

tta,

for all of you with spouses who've dropped the bomb...how long do the WAS usually stay in your home before finding a place of their own? my H dropped the bomb on 1/6 and is already apartment hunting this afternoon for his own place.

SInce you ask, my STBXW took 3 1/2 weeks.

...but most of the time felt like my smile was glued on and if i let it slide off, someone would see how truly miserable i was.

A skill we all learn early on. It's tough sometimes but serves us well both in the moment and over time.

i can't read his signals. he is apartment hunting but he looks at me with tears in his eyes. he doesn't want to work on our marriage but he goes out of his way to ask if i need anything from him.

He's conflicted. Or feeling guilty. Either may work to your advantage, ultimately.

but he's built a wall around his heart that i can't get over to make him see what a terrible choice it is to end this.

"...For when love dies, it is not in a moment of angry battle,
nor when fiery bodies lose their heat.
It lies panting, exhausted,
expiring at the bottom of a wall it could not scale."

Richard A. McCray

Unfortunately, you cannot scale his wall; only he can let it down.

Good luck,