di-It really is a load off of my shoulders. I have laid everything out there for my H. He claims he understands now he is the one with the issues so we will see what he does with his newly found enlightenment.
I met with my H the other night. We had a very good talk. I listened and validated. He was even open and receptive to what I had to say. My H claimed that our talk was better than any session that he has had with the C. During our conversation, I asked my H what his happiest moments in the last 3 years were. He told me in this order, watching my kids sports, spending time with his D and bbqing with me. He claims that the 2 1/2 weeks of not talking to me made him realize that he isn't happy alone either. He realizes he is more depressed than he had thought. He even talked about being able to mask his depression. He said so many things that I have wanted to hear for so long like he knows it is him, he has been an idiot, I am an amazing and compassionate person, people like me don't grow on trees, etc. He said he knows he needs individual counseling and he was going to call and get into our C right away. He said all this but then asked if I want him to file. I didn't reply to that. I did tell him that I cannot go backward to the way things were between us and he agreed. He knows that I am going to continue to move forward in my life whatever that may be and he seems to understand. He hugged me, kissed me, told me that he loved me and that he hoped he figured himself out before it was too late for us. When he left, he asked if he could call me. I told him he could do whatever he wants.
One thing that I thought was very interesting was my H asking me not to tell anyone about his depression. I think it is pretty obvious to people that are close to us.
There was a lot more said, I just can't remember it all. I'm still not sure what the future holds however, I do feel better about things. I hope this feeling stays with me.
