Whatnow, could you please remind us of the strategies you are putting into place? Is it no contact/ stay dark? I saw from your first post that if it is totally dark you are worried he will think you are done with him. Remember you can always give the letter explaining that you only want contact if it is to discuss reconciliation or to end the marriage. But there is better phrasing out there.

Also, (IMO) if you go dark, the best way is when you feel strong and capable of accepting that he might file for D. If you can face that fear (I go back and forth) then you will do a great job of staying NC. If you are not ready, then 180 behavior is better. Keeping in contact with "polite" emotion but keeping that poker face, being mysterious but not obvious that you are doing it, picking up old hobbies/ finding new ones...

me,34
exH,34
S,16 months
S:3/31/09-left for OW
started DBing 10/09
d final: sometime 10/10
current:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1
met in 2004