So can anyone tell me why when my SO is in my presense she's seemingly calm and polite, waving at me when she drives away, and when she wants something and calls me or sends me a message, I (am expected to) answer, but when she's elsewhere...like out with our daughter or at her fathers house and I message her or call her, she either ignores me or responds but in a hateful and agressive manner?
Is it cake eating?
Is it possible that while she's in my presence her fathers influence over her weakens...but when she's with him or its just us communicating over the phone its in full force?
It's very frustrating and confusing to me...and at times it makes me feel angry. It seems like a double standard...or like I'm just being a doormat.
I'm trying to be kind and patient with my SO...but its so draining...and I dont know how to combat this without agitating our already delicate situation.
Last night she called to let me ay goodnight to our daughter, but she told me that I was agrivating her. She called me (at 11:25 at night no less...kind of late for a 3 year old to be going to bed but I kept quiet)! And I was only conversing with our daughter. We got off the phone and I messaged her to ask how things went last night and she either turned her phone off or her battery died...but before either happened she received the message.
I recently read a book by david burns, "feeling good together", wich talks about successful ways of communicating with someone who you're at odds with. So last night even though her phone seemed to be off, I sent her a message saying something to the effect of how she seemed to be feeling overwhelmed and frustrated when she called, how I understood how difficult it was to get our daughter ready for bed when she probably had other things she needed to do afterwards, and that if she was interested in talking more about how she was feeling I would be glad to listen.
It's been 12 hours since I sent that and I got no response...and I know her phone is back on and she got the message. So again I got ignored.
Does anyone have any suggestions? Instead of trying to reach out to her should I go dark? Or should I be patient and keep trying to reach out to her?
