me12, I see your getting some great advice, please try to follow it. I was in your same stitch about 7 weeks ago. I felt so sorry for myself, and kept asking, "Why is this happening to me". I thought my marriage was happy and it felt out of the blue that he left. All our friends and family are very shocked too and never thought this would happen to us. After the initial shock wore off, I began to realize that we were having problems for the past few years. I too have found text’s and phone numbers of a girl, which H denies as an affair and says they are just friends. However, deep down, I feel he is having an affair.
At first, I felt that my life would be over without him. However, I have begun to realize that I will be ok no matter the outcome. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still hoping for him to come home and that we stay married. Nevertheless, if it doesn’t happen I know I will survive this. I too am still at the point where I want my H to hurt as much as I am too. This is hard, but I know someday he will regret his decision to leave. The lonely times are the worse. If you have to be alone, try to do something that occupies your time. When I’m alone I try to spend a lot of time on this site and do a lot of reading.
It is ok to feel sorry for yourself; this is the hardest thing you will ever have to do. Nevertheless, you will start to have good days. And take all the advice and stop pursuing your H. If I would have done this early in my stitch, I feel that it would have already started to turn around. At first my H just wanted space, and would tell everyone that he doubts we’ll get D. In addition, he would try to be nice to me, and hang out. However, I kept begging, crying, and acting desperate for him to come home. This just pushed him further away. Within a few short weeks of me begging, he has now started telling everyone that he is done, and wants to move on as soon as possible. For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been doing pretty well at LRT and 180’s but I fear it’s too late from all the damage I did in the beginning. No matter how it turns out, I can at least hold my head up high, and say I tried to save my M.
I’m sending you many hugs, our stitches are similar, see my link if you want to read up on mine.
