Pls help--confused and fearful

[P17]

I had a big speech prepared for you DBD after I saw your update on FB. I was going to tell you all about how your life will be so much better, that it's not over until the fat lady sings and never say never.

I just decided not too. Sometimes something simple is just as good as a page of text (which is rich coming from me).

You will be okay. I have faith in you just knowing you through here. Your H is making a big mistake and I have no doubt in my mind that one day he will realise that. I actually think most WAS's one day realise it. It's usually too late. A marriage is special. Even though we live in a society that no longer places much importance on it, I think our generation has had it drummed into us.

Anyway, my advice is simply to do what I am doing just now. Do everything you can to prepare yourself for the D. Everything I have read and everybody I have spoken to (including a friend of mine who is the single strongest person I know!) has a breakdown of some sort days, weeks, months and sometimes years after a D. Some have a one-two day episode, some really fall off the rails. This terrifies me and my plan was to get my separation agreement, feel stable in my home and prepare for a D so that when it does happen, when I DO fall off the rails, it will be a short fall and not a long one. No separation agreement though makes it difficult, but we must still prepare.

I say all of that out of love DBD. I feel for you. I'm sorry this has happened but you're stronger than falling apart. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best and you'll end up somewhere in the middle.

By doing it this week you do know your H is still trying to hurt you? He could have waited until next week ... you're still winning. Remember that.

I read in a book recently, Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom (a fantastic book) a quote that has stayed with me and I haven't forgotten as it applies to me and almost everybody else here - "People are mean when they are threatened". I think that one phrase just sums up everything for me. Just remember it. Oh and buy the book - it blew me away (along with Five People You Meet In Heaven and Have A Little Faith - they are just books that make you cry and just feel good).

{{{Hugs}}}