Someone that has an addiction, their mind is not right.
BS! Sorry, but BS! Saying it is an addiction is releasing them from the responsibility they have in the matter. They are responsible, they don't want to own it...but they are responsible.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
I agree, they are responsible. My point, not well made, is that they act like someone with an addiction. In my mind it does not free them from their actions, deeds or responsibilities. I guess that is why the tough love you see at interventions works, same here tough love.
I just have to say... what kind of man gets engaged to OW when he's still married, and what kind of woman get engaged to a man that hasn't even filed for D?
Doesn't look like a very healthy relationship, does it? I'm so sorry that you and the children are going through this. hugs to you.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
I am doing pretty well. I didn't want to get out of bed on Friday morning, but I did and a day at work was good for me. I wanted to post on FB "MY HUSBAND IS ENGAGED!!" but I didn't!
I know that how I handle this is completely up to me.
I am accepting the brutal reality of my situation and moving on. H said he'd like to file in the next couple weeks, and that sounds good to me. The sooner we get this over with, the better. I spent 10 months DB'g but I couldn't do it alone. Without communication with H, and a willingness to start with a friendship (this was always my primary goal), I couldn't break through the A fog and intrigue of a 21 yr old OW/girl. So, I fought the good fight and know I did all I could. Lots of prayer and reflection got me through. Thanks God!
Time to look forward. I have a new haircut and highlights that I must have received 20 compliments on yesterday at work. I am running again. Enjoying my children and time with family and friends. I have a lot to be thankful for. Could have been in Haiti a week ago. Could have a terminal disease or lose a child. Could be without a job. Lots to focus on to enjoy the Power of Positive Thinking.
I can only imagine how you feel. When I read what you wanted to post on FB it was struck me as funny because I realize that our lives at times do seem to be like a soap opera or insane comedy. I wonder what would have happened if you did post that?
You know that you did as much as you could. I really don't know what could be intruiging about a 21 year old girl. I wish them well!!!
You have handled yourself with class and grace. Good things will come your way.
Thanks Kara. I was VERY tempted to post the message, but I guess I took the high road. It's disappointing to know the D will happen, but there were no guarantees on saving the M when we started this DB'g... only that we'd emerge as stronger people who learned something about ourselves, past mistakes and what not to do in the future.
I got a check in the mail from H today. First payment in months. Lil' bit of guilt perhaps? Who knows, but I'll deposit it promptly!
