LR- ha ha I did have it backwards! Oops! I am sure having a S that old was still as hard as having younger ones!
I have a question- I took H's pocket watch (family heirloom)in in Dec. to be fixed and had hoped that it would be done for his xmas gift. Well, she told me they wouldn't get to it until this month. She called today and left a message...est. cost is $85. Well, now I don't really want to have it fixed for him. He knows I took it in cuz he saw it was gone. Do I call him and tell him the est. and have him handle it from here on out or do I get it fixed and let the kids give it to him for his birthday in Feb. The thing is, either way, the money to fix it will come out of our joint acct. so that is not the issue~
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If you have got the money to fix it get it done and let the kids give it to him for his birthday is a good idea! It so annoying when things that you organised long before they went awal pop up and cause more aggravation.
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Thanks LR! That is what my first instinct was but wanted another opinion. We think it was one of the kids that broke it in the first place so I think that would be a fitting gift from them!
H hasn't called to make plans with the kids yet this weekend. I brought up the subject of a schedule last weekend when he was here and he agreed but didn't commit to anything so I will bring it up again and ask him to commit to an every other weekend schedule, providing he is not working.
Last night, thoughts of D were running through my head. I have told him that I would not be the one to file but am toying with the "shock and awe" of filing. As they say, I have to be ready to handle the outcome and I am not sure I am ready for a backfire.
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Hi CW, Most of us toyed with that idea at different points in our sitch... when I did, I received very wise advice to think long and hard about that. Yes, it could provide the "shock and awe" response you are hoping for, but it could backfire. One person posted to me that they really regretted it. So, I changed my mind and am so glad I did. But, only you know your own sitch and what is best for you.
HELP! H called again this morning so I didn't answer. On my way out of town I see him and "someone" else in the truck. My first instinct was to turn around and foloow him but I didn't as I would not have been able to handle it if it was her! I am trying to not assume anything but can't help it. IF it was OW...HOW DARE HE BRING HER TO OUR HOUSE? If it was someone to help him move some things, why couldn't he call (he did but I didn't answer but had my cell and he didn't try to call it!) He saw me and didn't call so I have to take it as, it was her, he is sneaking in to get some things out of the house!!! What to do/say?
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Well, after a couple of hours and calming myself down, I called H and asked him if he'd been to the house to get some things. He said yes, I saw you and I asked who was with him and he said "who do you think?". I asked him why he would bring her to our house...no answer. I told him I was uncomfortable with her knowing where we live and he said that we shouldn't have to worry about that (in other words, she is harmless...ha) and then I said again that I was uncomfortable and he started acting defensive and said that they didn't go IN the house, just the garage so I then said "I am not chewing you out, I am telling you how this makes me feel" "I am not comfortable with her being there and it is very disrespectful of you to bring her there" I then asked if he was prepared to run into a neighbor if one would happen by? Again, no answer. He said he understood and would not do it again. I then told him that he did not have to "sneak" home to get his stuff and he said that he tried to call but no answer. Told him that he can leave a message.
Since he was on the phone, I asked him if he had plans to see the kids this weekend to which he said he would and asked "why, is something going on" so I told him that they were babysitting Sat. night for SS and Dil. Told him we needed to talk about a schedule for him to see them that this last minute stuff was not working. He mentioned coming by Sunday.
Was very tempted to call the L that I had a consultation with but decided to think it over this weekend before I did that. I am also thinking that I may have my brother change the locks on the doors in the house...any advice there?
My co-worker that had an A and is now divorcing told me that she thinks he is being compliant so that I won't get mad and talk to a L so that he can get everything that he can as that is what she did to her H.
At this point, I still want this marraige to work but am not sure where to go from here....
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I thought I was doing all the right things...I have been galing but that goes unnoticed as H is not around to see that. I have been trying to do NC so there has been no communication except about kids. I guess I could say that I set a boundary yesterday by telling him to not bring the OW to my house again.
I am going to talk to H tomorrow about setting visitation times with the kids, every other weekend, now that he has his own place.
I am changing the locks on my doors today.
I don't know what else to do right now. Any suggestions?
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