The fact of the matter is you can't control what she is doing or with whom. You need to stop trying to figure that one out and find something to do with someone yourself. I am new to this also and my WAH is having an EA, all I know is I can't sit around and worry about what they are doing or I will go crazy. Accept the things you cannot change and work on making yourself happy. I have no intention at this point of giving up on my marriage. I am however not going to sit in this house and be miserable, even if I am not in the best of moods it feels better to surround yourself by people who care a bout you. Force yourself to do something that will get your mind off of the stress of the situation.
This is my only advice as I have only been dealing with this for a short time.
