OK, so I handled. ODP worked. I called a friend and vented in her phone then stayed calm. H said he had a horrid day at work, his computer broke - usually this would have had him coming over ready to fight to the death. He talked, I listened, and then I just said I want to know his schedule more ahead of time. He said he was upset that I "accused" him of going away for the weekend and so I apologized and said it's not that big of a deal I just need more notice. It was all super calm on both ends and I just let it go. I reaaaaaalllllly wanted to say "What the heck are you being so secretive about>@!" but didn't.
We had a calm Friday night dinner, our ritual. I commended H on being calm with us through dinner despite his horrible day. H thanked me. I asked for a hug when he left (I know, so unDB of me) and he actually lingered a bit, first time since you know when.
Feeling very proud of myself. And much calmer!! STill suspicious, (you're right, he must be afraid of the third degree - but then he makes me want to third degree him even more when he's secretive...it's a cycle) but hey it's never going to be perfect. Thanks friends for being there for me, esp. LR with the ODP plan - I SERIOUSLY WOULD HAVE MESSED UP WITHOUT YOU!
Determined to keep my happy feelings iwth me through the weekend!
