Onwards and upwards!

[P17]

Advice.

I have a few updates but I'll stick to one tonight.

It's D's birthday tomorrow.

D's mum came home and found a card through the door. It was from W.

First of all the card has my D's name as 'Miss D <D's Mums Surname>'. Yeah? D's surname is actually the same as mine. W knows this. It was a big thing while we were married and fighting D's mum for contact. W could simply have addressed the card to 'D' but she chose to do the other - I can only conclude this is to annoy me. It worked, a little. Then I smiled and laughed. I saw what she was up to.

Second she put it through D's mum's door. Trying to circumvent me. W and D's mum loathe / hate each other.

Thirdly, card had inside 'D, All My Love, W'. There was a voucher inside for £20 with 'Love W' on it.

Finally, I said to W's friend several times that me and D wanted to be left alone. I said that if 'W didn't want to be D's step-mother then she needs to leave us alone'. W's friend even said that she had spoken to her about this previously and explained how difficult it is to be a parent and the difficult decisions we need to make under these circumstances. W has ignored me, her friend and the fact that she didn't get to give D a Xmas present (her fault not ours) which I thought would have given her the message.

So, while I was initially angry I have now had time think.

I actually feel really proud of W. She has done EXACTLY what the old W would have done - she stood up for herself and something she wants. I want to shout 'go girl, fight me' and see the old her back again. See her stand up and say what she wants. That is good and exciting. However, if this is the old W then she's away with OM so that isn't good. Maybe she's clinging to D. Don't know.

Dilemma is, what do I do with the card and voucher. D's mum wants not to give it to D and spedn the voucher - I'm kind of against this (it's become apparent over the last few days that D's mum is actually much more against W than I am!). I have two options:

1. Send it back to W. No note, nothing. Just the card and voucher.

2. Give D the card and voucher and let her speak to W tomorrow (or in the next few days). I don't think she will actually get to speak to her (as W will ignore my call) but she may get to leave her a voicemail.

I favour 2. I read somewhere that once in a while you need to stick your head out when being in NC and test the waters before going back to it again.

I'm looking for sage advice on the best course of action, considering I'm under NC.

Secondly, without reading much into this I am beginning to get a little worried. I still don't have my separation agreement. I don't have D's car seat back. W is ignoring the signs of 'leave us alone' by being NC, her not getting to give D a Xmas present, her friend telling her to leave D alone and me telling her friend that we want to be left alone. While she is leaving me alone, she isn't leaving D alone. We are a package and she knows this. I'm a bit perplexed about what she's playing at - I told her I wouldn't giver her a D until I had the separation agreement (and only I can file) so by her not doing this she is actually holding up the one thing she wanted.

While I know these are NOT signs that she is coming back or even thinking about it (and I'm not getting disillusioned that she is), I am getting a little worried as she may be playing a whole other game whose rules I don't know and by the time I figure it out, it may be too late.

Again, any insights, advice, suggestions or anything else appreciated to give me a little confidence on what may be going on.

I have a few other updates to post about me, GALing and a decision I've made of where I will live, but I will leave that until tomorrow. I must sleep.