I had this fantasy of going to an intimate jazz bar with a male friend, someone who would make me feel good. I haven't done things like that for over 6 years. Then I was shocked to realize that every man I know is both a husband and father. Then I remembered a male friend who I had some "interludes" with 20 years ago who I haven't seen much of since becoming a wife and mother. I thought I'd reach out to him on facebook. He seemed happy to hear from me and suggested that we get together for coffee, drinks, or lunch. He even suggested going to the exact jazz bar that I had in mind in my fantasy! I decided it was meant to be and said yes. He is a husband (I assume) and a father, so I wouldn't be looking to flirt or anything. I just want to be with someone who doesn't see me in my current somewhat pathetic context. I want to go on a pseudo-"date" with no risk of it going anywhere.
So here's the question. Do I ask a friend to babysit my kids and not even mention it to H? Or do I ask H to look after the kids (at my home) while I "go out"? It only seems fair that I should have some freedom to go out into the world after the kids are asleep. And it would be a 180 because I never used to go out at night because H refused to learn how to comfort the children when they woke at night (which happened/happens a lot -- they are terrible sleepers). On the other hand, I wouldn't want it to look like I'm trying to make him jealous or play mindgames. I'm doing this for me, not to manipulate him. Thoughts?
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
