I do remember feeling like you did at one time. I likened it to a murderer. How can a murderer rectify what he/she has done? THey can't, and they live with what they have done the rest of their life. When I shared that a long time back a friend of mine on here pretty much told me that having an affair and murdering was not equally comparable. Yet, that's how I felt.
I think it is admirable that you came clean and told the real story. That is the first step, and knowing how people would react must have made it kind of hard as well. I went and confessed to a priest as well. What we did will never go away, and there will always be guilt. What I think to myself is that I am now a different person...I know better...I see clearer.....I am closer to God. I got help, and helped myself. I still struggle, though.
You can only do something from this day forward. You can change with help.
Again, I'm sorry for the feelings you are experiencing...I know them well. When it is quiet and I'm suppose to be sleeping, that is when it is the worst....when people say, "how do they SLEEP at night!!!???" They are right, we don't.....but, it does get better.
