It's amazing to me that he can be surprised that you thought so bad of him at times. It's like they are in a true bubble of denial about the extreme impact of their actions. They are so busy being confused and monitoring their own pain they have no realistic assessment of the damage done to the other. Good luck this week. Seems with the financial stress and the hurt and anger that could linger for some time that things could get tense if you're not careful.
Thanks Rocked I do hope your H realises what a smashing missus he has!
Yep rr22 its hard to believe that even out of their blind fog they cant see what they did, I must admit I find that most frustrating at the moment, keeping a lid on my desire to tell him all isnt easy lol! I just keep hoping that one day when the fog completely clears I will get to hear all I want/need to hear as I know I cant keep a lid on it forever.
He is making the effort to contact me every day although it would be nice to have a few more txts a girl cant be greedy can she. Weekends arnt so bad as Im usually quite busy, but evenings when I dont ride get a bit laborious.
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
I think you need a plan in place for once he's in the house more. For what you will do in the meantime about wanting to hear what you need and want to hear to acknowledge what you have been through. Where are you going to take that unresolved pain until he gets better enough to participate in that discussion? It could erupt if you try to stuff it down and have to see him in the house every day. Hopefully sometime in the next month or two (or three?) he will be emotionally available for that discussion.
Well financially its getting worse, came home to find a baliffs visit notice had been stuffed through the door. Rang H trying to keep very calm but quite frankly wanting to fall apart on the phone. Was such a pity having to explain such awful news as he seemed very upbeat to hear me ring him. Im having to start sharing my georgous furry girl as a way to keep her, thankfully with a lovely friend so hopefully it will work and we will both benefit, just want to sit down and have a good cry really!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Oh dear - I disappear for one day and look what happens...ok, the good news is you and H are a team now. Remember Rocked sitch, of course there is lingering pain at how hard things have been for you and H's inability to see it. We all know how you feel. You'll get there in time where he can acknowledge you, I know it.
And then this financial crisis - give yourself a big hug for staying calm in such a scary moment! It must feel like a double whammy - H doesn't fully get how his leaving has deeply affected you, now it's financially affecting you. You deserve a hug pat on the back for sticking it through while he was in fogland, and now that you are in reality together, you will have to face this together.
You will still have your family - your horse and hubby, so stay strong girl you'll find a way out TOGETHER. And, don't forget we're with you all the way too
Thanks all, I went out for a drink with a mate tonight which cheered me up a bit, but back to reality again now. Youre right H4L at least were a team now even if its a baby team. Im just totally worn down and fighting to hold it all together, need to find some of that get up and fight again somehow, H has been looking for three months now, well I'd say really looking for the last month the other two I cant really say as he wasnt here.. I just kept telling myself it would all be ok by the end of this week so set myself up for a fall I suppose. Even when he gets a job its going to be a long hard climb financially and R combined. Off to bed now at least I dont have to get up at six tomorrow that has got to be a blessing!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Enjoy your sleep. Yes, you must be exhausted you've been fighting solo for a long time now and see more mountains ahead. Just remember to take baby steps and you'll haul up that mountain before you know it.
We were going to post some new 180's, remember? After you've had a good rest and some RabbitTime, let's get the plan started.
Thats it H4L maybe I just feel like Im still in this mess alone.. Hopefully on wednesday that will start to ease a bit, have to say Im not looking forward to him unpacking he has bought a few things down there which Im not sure I want to see in our home as a constant reminder of him going. Also he keeps saying he wants to be with me and he is looking forward to being with me, he no longer wants to be in this house or call it home, although we did have a breakthrough the other day when he referred to our bedroom as OUR not MY! He seems less foggy these days, just want to get back on track, get him a job and sort out the remainder of the mess el pronto, just gotta be careful not to try to fix things for him, I know RW has nearly fallen into that trap so it was good to hear about it aforehand.
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
