Today I'm feeling better. More in control of myself. There were a series of things that happened on Tuesday that spun me a bit sideways. I'm starting to be more aware of my state of mind but that doesn't always translate directly to getting control over my emotions. As a result I still tend to say and act from an emotional state of mind.
This morning I took the lead and called my W about retro. Asked what her plans were. She is still very apprehensive so I expressed my understanding. Her concern is that the program will pressure her to stay in the M and that the resulting anxiety will result in another "breakdown". My gut reaction was to defend the program and try and convince her she was wrong. I resisted (I'm proud of myself) and instead relayed the impressions of the program shared to me by other people. Much to my surprise she said maybe thats what she should and will,do as well.
W insists that she was only doing this because of me. She is very determined that it will not change anything. At this point I decided it was time to be honest and let he know that indeed there were hopes that Retro could perform a miracle and somehow make everything better. Mainly because I believe in our M and family. Went on to say that we have not tried to fixed the issue between us. Yes we went to MC but we were not ready because we both had serious individual issues that had to deal with that kept us from being present in MC. So yes I want to address the issues between us because we are going to be together in some fashion for a very long time. We may through the process of discovery decide we, emphasis on the WE, can't make it work. But that decision should be made by two mature and informed people. I view Retro as the mechanism to start this healing process. I'm open to other prospects but this seems to be the best start.
It was an interesting conversation.
Last edited by C-Bart; 01/22/1008:49 PM.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
