Hey LFA - sorry, that was unclear - the context of the comment was, we spent the weekend together, we were intimate, she tried to feel like "us" but it didn't wipe away everthing else.
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Yes, it is easier not seeing WAS. Not to say I'm not still on the rollercoaster. But it is definitely better, usually. It's just upsetting to see/hear from him. Obviously I need to take my own advice! Detachment, sounds so much simpler than it actually is. Hang in there, you will get through this.
Yeah, it's strange - we have good times, which grows the desire in me to continue to spend time with her. I do feel more centered at the moment, though. It does dampen the roller coaster.
So, I stayed late at work last night. My focus is still a bit off, but forcing myself to focus on work. We're doing our annual performance reviews now, and I've got a lot of paperwork to do for my team members. Actually kind of worried about my own review after the past 6 months, but my managers are aware of what's going on. Talked to a friend on the way home, and actually called up the woman I had seen for awhile last fall and talked to her. Being alone in the apartment is kind of depressing, so I just try to talk to people.
But I've got guitars to play, books to read, all that. Think I'm going to have the boys at the aparment this weekend.
One of them actually asked the other day, hey, when are we going to stay at Dad's again? With some enthusiasm - not bad, eh?
I'm grateful for my boys - I'm grateful for my friends and family - I'm grateful for the security I do have, including my job I'm grateful for the progress I have made, and I'm still relatively OK after all. I'm grateful that things are not worse than they are - we're not figting about custody, and we do have good moments.
