How do I wait?

[Gardener]

mlig,
Sorry you're here, but here is the place to be. Take a breath. Take many. You're hurt and you're reeling. Read the DR book, especially The Last Resort Tecniques. Consider one-on-one DB telephone counselor session.

I'm trying to get out and do things to develop the independent interests we spoke about, but it all feels so empty without knowing I can share what I did with her at the end of the day.

We here can pretty much all empathize with this. Are you in IC (individual Counseling)? Any reasons to suspect another man?("Remember the time when I said to you, we should date [before committing]? My conscience was telling me something and once again I didn't listen to it') because this speaks volumes to me.

She said she wants to have no responsibilities and not answer to anyone. I never asked that of her, but obviously that was how she felt, so I must have given her that impression.

t'aint necessarily so. Where did she go? Do you know? Get out, do things, develop independent interests, yes, but not because she said so, or because that will win her back. Do it for you.

Take advantage of this alone time to pull yourself together.

Keep posting. Others will be along soon.